Finding the negative is easy

I do not usually bring God into these blog posts because of the diversity of beliefs represented by the people that I know. However, for the religious among us, our God has certain characteristics that are shared among all of the major religions, and the first among those is that God will never, ever try to crush your dreams. It is up to us to ask for guidance on how to live our lives and what dreams He has for us, but once we realize the path He has chosen for us we should pursue it will all possible vigor. God is uplifting and hopeful, He will never try to keep you from succeeding; He may test your faith, but He will not lie to you about your dreams. His opponent will, however. The enemy of God will whisper in your ear and use Dreamstealers to divert you from the path you are supposed to walk, and that is how you shall know them, by their negativity and discouraging words.

Finding the negative is easy; it's all around us, invading our world whether want it to or not. Two incidents lately have made this very clear, and stand as a warning to us all that if you let the Dreamstealers into your life, they will snatch away every dream and ambition you have and leave you an empty shell. If you learn to spot them, however, you can focus on what is positive and good.

Last month I met someone who was looking for positivity and light in their life, and we quickly agreed that God had lead us to each other. Within two weeks, however, the Dreamstealers had snatched their dreams away, dreams that we had both agreed were God's will. I witnessed this negativity first hand but am no closer to understanding it than I was before, perhaps because at its root there is no understanding to be found. I only know that God would not step on someone's dreams to help others.

The second incident deals with, of all things, a negative blog post. Since you are currently reading a blog, mine, let's be clear about something: there is no fact check that my writings have to pass before they are published. Everything I write here is my opinion. As a responsible adult you can count on the fact that I will not intentionally lie to you, but if I wanted to, I could. With few exceptions, I can say anything I want.

And so can anybody else, including Dreamstealers.

When you read something on the internet, be it a comment after a story or column, or especially a blog, understand that behind the words there is a motive. It may be a good and positive motive, or it might be a negative one. Does it shock you that unscrupulous writers often say bad things about whatever writer they see as their biggest competition? It happens on Amazon.com all the time. So when someone showed me a negative blog about something I hold dear they were upset, wondering if it were true. A short investigation made it clear that the post was written by a new competitor who used a blog because in a blog you can say almost anything you want, and they were trying to steal customers from the giant of the industry. Their negativity had become infectious as they tried to steal the dreams of others.

Does that sound like work of a good and positive nature? Not to me it doesn't. Dreamstealers, begone!

Momentum begins when belief sets in.

Someone asked me where I read this, or to whom I should attribute this quote. Honestly, I don't remember reading it anywhere, although I could be wrong about that. Sometimes the sub-conscious retains a memory even if you are not aware that it is a memory, so if this saying has been used before, I stand corrected.

However, whether I remembered this or thought it up isn't the question, or even important; what matters is the message. It is the rare person who can recommend something to someone else if they do not first believe in what it is they are recommending...in other words, lie to someone. At least, it is the rare person who can lie and be convincing about it. And that's the point of the message.

Momentum begins when belief sets in. See, if you believe in something, then that belief comes across when you tell someone else about it, whatever 'it' happens to be. My friends know that I am extremely skeptical, sometimes to the point of cynicism; it's one of the character traits that I am working to change. But for me to recommend something to someone, I must be convinced that it is 100% true. If someone does not act on my recommendation, that's okay.The last thing I want to do is talk someone into doing something (or eating somewhere, or seeing a movie, or whatever) that they do not want to do.

One definition of Momentum is" "the impetus gained by a moving object." This fits the phrase perfectly. When you believe something strong enough, you can almost will it into action. We're seeing that in Memphis right now, it's amazing to behold, when something begins to move (or grow) of its own accord. Of course, it's because belief has set in.

The only thing left now is to enjoy the ride.

Lesson learned

As a wellness consultant you'd think I'd know better. I have all of the studies, all of the statistics, that prove human beings must rest and refresh themselves to avoid the dire consequences not doing so puts on your body. It's bad stuff, and it's my business to know that it's bad stuff. Stress is the Black Plague of the 21st Century.

And it's not like I hate what I'm doing; I love it, it's a blast, I feel as though I am doing what I was born to do...but, even so, rest and replenishment are essential.

This past week was incredible. If you were there, you know what I mean; if you weren't, you should have been. You learn best by association, that is, by watching and listening to others who possess certain attributes and skills you wish that you had. This week was a smorgasbord for absorbing such lessons.

But despite the opportunity you still have to give yourself a chance to let the adrenaline drain away and to regain your mental and physical equilibrium.

Lesson learned.

Top 25 Online Colleges, Dr. Charles King and why it matters

I completed my college degree online, from The University of Memphis. When some people hear that, they automatically think this is some sort of shortcut to a degree, that the material and coursework were less challenging than a traditional classroom setting...nothing could be further from the truth, at least in my experience. I actually did four or five times as much reading and writing for the courses I took than I had expected to; it was hard as-...well, it was hard.

Anyway, here's a link to one site's Top 25 Online Colleges in America: Top 25

I'm sure there is some subjectivity to this list, and there are other online universities that I know for a fact are top-notch that are not on this list, but that's not the point of today's blog. What is important is that The University of Illinois-Chicago is on this list at #12, and that is the home of Dr. Charles King. Professor King is a Harvard-educated business teacher who thinks outside the box, who believes in using the power of the American dream to its fullest potential, and that corporate America often keeps people dependent on the company to leverage their time as cheaply as possible, thus maximizing profits.

Like other luminaries, such as Warren Buffett, Donald Trump and Robert Kiyasaki, Dr. King believes in the power of the individual to create his or her own wealth, and teaches an extensive curriculum on the home-based business and entrepreneurship. So many people are terrified of working for themselves and it is forward-thinkers such as Dr. King who try to overcome that fear. Here is a short bio for this amazing man: Dr. Charles King

Probably the most frustrating thing I have encountered in the past few years are people selling their talents cheaply because they are afraid of failure, because they have never been taught how to believe in themselves and therefore dream small. People like Dr. King advocate thinking big, dreaming big, and have made a career of showing people how to do this very thing. I'm thrilled to see his University listed among the prestigious grouping for today's topic.

Be good to yourself and live longer

Lately I've been delving into the effects of stress on the human condition, both how stress affects our mind and our body. What I found is scary stuff. Stress is one of the deadliest conditions of the 21st Century. Today's link is to a study done for the City of Irvine, CA. The results are summarized in the following paragraph:

"One thing is clear, stress can kill us. Life
today is very difficult. We all face many
challenges and it is hard to slow down. But
ask yourself, what is the alternative? If we
do not live a sane life, at least most of the
time, we are apt to loose that life sooner than
we would like.
Realize that at this very moment you are
creating your next moment. Will it be what
you want it to be?"

We cannot control everything in our life, but the more we can relieve stress the healthier and happier we will be. And if you're an employer, helping relieve stress for your employees can improve your bottom-line drastically.

The Full Article

100% wrong for all of these years

NPR says it, not me

Want to live longer? Live better.


This blog is intended to share with my readers the trials and tribulations of what Kathy and I learn as we undertake a project completely unlike anything we have ever done before, to illustrate what we learn and unlearn along the way. Today's entry is a major 'Unlearn.'

I had no idea. Like so many people I thought that the harder you worked the greater your success. Not so says the science. For years Americans have gotten it wrong, insisting that keeping your nose to the grindstone and ignoring vacations was the way to get ahead in this country. And while that might be true in the short run, what employer doesn't like an employee who gives back vacation time, it doesn't pay off in the long run when that employee dies at a relatively young age and the employer has to replace them at great expense.

Want to be the best employee you can be? Take your vacation and actually go somewhere, stick your toes in the sand, forget work for a while and come back raring to go. Want to be the best employer you can be? Insist your employees take their vacations.

Relax! Vacations Are Good For Your Health

by Brenda Wilson

August 17, 2009

More reasons to enjoy your free time to its fullest: less stress, more energy and, possibly, a longer life.

A lot of towns and cities in the United States virtually empty out come August. Traffic almost becomes manageable as the local denizens decamp for the beach, the mountains or the heartlands. The escape from toil may be just the breather the body needs to restore itself.

Whether you spend your free moments playing sports, socializing with friends or reading quietly, research suggests that the more of it there is, the better you feel and the healthier you are.

"It is important to engage in multiple leisure activities, both as a way to enjoy life more, but also to potentially have a benefit on health and be a stress reliever," says Karen Matthews of the University of Pittsburgh's Mind-Body Center.

Researchers from the center surveyed 1,399 participants who'd been recruited for four other studies on breast cancer, cardiovascular disease and other conditions. They were asked how often they'd spent the previous month doing something they enjoyed. Leisure, including vacation, Matthews says, contributed to more positive emotions and fewer negative emotions and depression.

People who had more leisure activities "reported more life satisfaction, finding more meaning in life," says Matthews. "They tended to be more religious [and] spiritual in orientation. They reported having a lot of support from friends and having a large network of friends and family."

Among the benefits to be found from engaging in multiple activities are lower blood pressure, lower stress hormones and smaller waists.

Europeans embrace this idea almost religiously. Vacations are enshrined in law. In countries like Germany, the United Kingdom and the Netherlands, employers are required to provide up to 20 days of paid leave. Americans, on the other hand, get an average of 12 days every year. A study conducted by the Families and Work Institute found that less than half of U.S. employees take the full vacation.

Jessica de Bloom studies the effects of vacation on stress, recovery and work motivation at the Radboud University in the Netherlands. Having just spent three weeks in Croatia, on vacation herself, she was feeling just fine. But her research found that for most people, the overall feeling of well-being that comes after a vacation quickly vanishes. She's done an analysis of research conducted in Europe, Israel and the United States that assesses how people feel before, during and after a vacation. It was published in the Journal of Occupational Health.

"People felt healthier during vacation. They had a better mood," de Bloom says. "They were less tense. And they had a higher level of energy, and they were more satisfied with their life."

What struck de Bloom is that when people were questioned a day or two after they returned, the positive effects had faded. But that doesn't mean that one should discount the health benefits of a vacation, de Bloom says.

"It would be a bit like asking, 'Why do we sleep despite the fact that we get tired again?' "

Health deteriorates over time if we don't take a break from work, research concludes.

Probably the best evidence of the effects of vacations can be found in the Framingham Heart Study, which scientists have been plumbing for years to understand what contributes to our well-being. More than 12,000 men who were at risk of heart disease were followed over nine years to see if there were ways to improve their longevity. Among the questions they were asked annually was about vacations.

"The more frequent the vacations, the longer the men lived," says Matthews, who analyzed the data to assess the benefits of vacations.

The men who took vacations tended to be better educated and have a higher income. These are people who tend to be healthier and live longer anyway. It's also possible that sick people don't enjoy taking vacations. But Matthews says the study took that into account, and she's confident that there are health benefits to vacationing.

While vacations would probably benefit us all, it appears that people who were healthier to begin with, who exercise and who don't smoke are also the people most likely to take frequent vacations.

What the Wall Street Journal thinks of your Plan A: if you're under 40, listen up!

So what does the Wall Street Journal think about your retirement plans? Not much if you're counting on Social Security to provide anything close to enough to live on. Maybe enough to buy an occasional Skinny Latte at Starbucks, but not much else. Here's a new article that tells you if Social Security is your future, then you might not have one. The full article is here, I'm quoting it in case the link goes dead at some point in the future, because this material is crucial to all of us.

Plan now while you still can

• April 25, 2012, 11:48 a.m. ET

RETIRING: If Social Security Is Your Plan A, Get A Plan B

--U.S. workers younger than 40 likely to receive greatly reduced benefits

--Small changes in strategy can boost one's benefits

--Damage could be mitigated if policy makers were to agree on a solution

   By Robert Powell
   A DOW JONES COLUMN

If Plan A in your retirement scheme is Social Security, it's time to start working on Plan B.

Based on this week's report from the folks responsible for the Medicare and Social Security Trust Funds, Americans--and especially those under age 40--need to reconsider their retirement plans.

Absent major action by lawmakers, the annual reports say that the combined assets of the Old-Age and Survivors Insurance and the Disability Insurance trust funds will be exhausted in 2033. That's three years sooner than was projected last year. And the Disability Insurance, or DI, trust fund will be exhausted in 2016, two years earlier than last year's estimate.

Come 2033, just 21 short years from now, Social Security will pay just 75% of scheduled benefits, just 75 cents on the dollar. So, instead of getting, say, $1,000 per month from Social Security, you'll get just $750 per month come 2033.

Meanwhile, the outlook for the social insurance program that covers nearly 50 million elderly and disabled people was slightly worse than findings from last year. The trustees, as they did last year, forecast that Medicare's hospital insurance fund would begin to run out of money beginning in 2024.

So what adjustments do you need to make to your retirement plan given the latest reports from the trustees of Social Security and Medicare?

Well, if you're already retired, don't worry. "The advice I give people is that if they are already retired, I see little risk to benefits," said Jeffrey Brown, a finance professor at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. "No politician will cut for current seniors."

Others share that opinion. "I would tell those living in retirement or very near retirement, make your decisions based on the current rules," said Bill Meyer, the president of Retiree Inc. "History tells us that Social Security benefits will not be impacted for those in or very near benefit-claiming age. For example, it took seven and 17 years respectfully from the time change [for Social Security] was announced to implementation back in 1983 and 1977."

But for those who plan on retiring in 2033 and beyond, the advice is much different. "It might be smart to look at the worst case," said Andy Landis, the founder of "Thinking Retirement and the author of Social Security: The Inside Story."

"What if Congress does nothing between now and 2035? At that point Social Security payments could be cut up to 25%. If you're a pessimist, work that into your retirement plan," Landis said.

  If you're under age 40, start worrying

In other words, anyone younger than, say, 41 today should plan to get just 70% to 75% of promised benefits, Brown said.

Unfortunately, there's no silver bullet to make up the difference between what those retiring in 2033 expected to get from Social Security and what they will get.

Those folks should consider the usual strategies and tactics: up the amount they save toward retirement; invest differently, perhaps with an emphasis on creating guaranteed inflation-adjusted income not unlike that provided by Social Security; delay retirement; work part time in retirement; delay taking Social Security; and consider any and all ways to turn assets into income, be it home equity, the cash value in your life insurance policy, or the collectibles in your curio cabinet.

  Optimize your Social Security benefit

Of all the bromides, however, delaying--or what Meyer and other experts refer to as "optimizing" Social Security benefits--is perhaps the most important. For one, the average American who optimizes when to claim Social Security can "make their savings last two to 10 years longer," according to Meyer.

What's more, what's good for you is also good for the Social Security Trust Fund. "Delaying or optimizing Social Security will help will help lessen the near-term burden on the Social Security liabilities," said Meyer.

One such strategy is "claim and suspend," whereby, typically, a husband would file for his benefits and then suspend those benefits so that his wife could collect the spousal benefit off her husband's work record. "The claim-and-suspend strategy is typically used by married couples where the wife wants to start receiving her spousal benefit but the husband wants to delay his benefit to age 70 in order to earn maximum delayed credits," Floyd previously told Retirement Weekly.

Of all the Social Security claiming strategies, however, experts are telling older Americans not to panic and take Social Security early at age 62 or before normal or full retirement age just because of the program's financial woes. "It may be tempting to take early benefits in light of the system's worsening financial condition, but those who do so risk being stuck with a permanently reduced benefit and lower lifetime income," said Elaine Floyd, director of retirement and financial life planning at Horsesmouth LLC and author of "135 Social Security Questions Answered: What Savvy Advisors Need to Know," as well as "The Financial Advisor's Guide to Savvy Social Security Planning."

"Even if future benefits are reduced in some manner, it is inconceivable that those who took early benefits would come out ahead of those who had delayed," Floyd said.

Planning for health-care expenses in retirement, given Medicare's financial problems is, however, an entirely different matter. "I'm not sure how policy makers can get escalating health-care costs under control, but in light of the trustees' sixth consecutive 'Medicare funding warning,' the best thing people who are living in or planning for retirement can do is set aside funds for future health-care costs," said Floyd.

Experts, meanwhile, say that fixing Social Security and Medicare's financial problems isn't all that hard. There are two basic choices and variations on those choices. What's hard is mustering up the desire and will on the part of lawmakers to tackle the problem before it becomes too late.

"One, either we spend less by reducing the level or growth of benefits, or two, we put more money into the system via higher payroll taxes, or general revenue transfers," Brown said. "There are a myriad ways to do either of these things--raising the retirement age, changing how we index benefits [wages vs. prices], other changes to the benefit formula, and the like."

To be sure, there is debate over who should bear the brunt of the proposed fixes: reduced benefits or increase taxes.

Landis, for instance, doesn't think retirees should have to pay with a reduced benefit. "With the average retiree getting only about $1,200 per month, and with that being most of his or her income, benefit cuts start to seem like getting blood from a turnip," Landis said. "With wealth disparity at historic highs, income-tax rates at historic lows, and payroll taxes capturing a smaller percentage of all wages, Congress might want to look at the tax side of the equation."

Others, meanwhile, say lawmakers should consider a combination of reform proposals so that no one group pays the price for saving Social Security.

"These [proposals] would include raising the wage base subject to payroll taxes, gradually phasing in a higher retirement age for future retirees, and slowing the growth of future benefits for higher earners," said Floyd. "I hesitate to favor cost-of-living adjustment reductions for current recipients because they're going to need those COLAs for Medicare premiums, if nothing else."

To be fair, some experts, including Landis, say there's no need to press the panic button just yet. "First, let's all take a breath, because the report is no surprise," said Landis. "Forecasts about Social Security's solvency have been remarkably stable since 1983, the last big overhaul of the system. Projected insolvency dates have varied from the mid-2030s to the early 2040s consistently since then. We're 'on track' according to the 1983 overhaul."

But even though we're on track doesn't mean changes aren't necessary. It's just that the changes can be small. "What Social Security needs right now is a tuneup, not another major overhaul such as that which took place in 1983," said Landis. "Obviously, taxes need to be raised and/or benefits reduced. Congress needs to decide how much of each is right.

But is time running out? "Any changes are cheaper if done sooner," Landis said. "Waiting until 2035 just drives up the cost of reforms."

Lita Epstein, author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Social Security and Medicare," agreed: "Clearly, Congress must act as quickly as possible to fortify Social Security and Medicare. The quicker the Congress designs the fix the less painful it will be. Congress can't keep kicking its work down the road."

Congress is, of course, unlikely to take any action in an election year. But Landis is holding out hope: "What if Congress reframed the issue? Wouldn't 'saving Social Security for another generation' have political benefits? Nice to have on your resume."

(Robert Powell is editor of Retirement Weekly, a MarketWatch/Dow Jones service, and writes for MarketWatch. He can be reached at 415-439-6400 or by email at AskNewswires@dowjones.com.)

I don't get it, but fortunately it doesn't matter in the long run

Google is changing their blog interface from one which is simple and easy to use, to one that is confusing, counter-intuitive and downright silly. I don't get why companies insist on taking something that works and messing with it until it is no longer useful, but this seems to be a consistent component of corporate America.

So, this blog will be looking for a new home and when I find one I will let everybody know.

Fortunately, such things are minor blips in an otherwise steep trajectory upwards. I spent last weekend in Las Vegas with 7,000 people from around the globe, so many that the immense ballroom we were using was barely big enough. I had personal conversations with folks from Eritrea, Zimbabwe, Singapore, Cyprus, Brazil and the U.K., an amazing grouping of talented and enthused people who helped me see the world in a new light. I heard a speech from the Minister of Tourism for Zimbabwe, who also sits on the United Nations Tourism Committee and is incoming Chairman of the African Council of Tourism, confirming that I am part of the future. Sometimes you know things objectively, but only internalize them when they are seen through the eyes of another.

Then I had a really, really eye-opening course on the effects of stress in the workplace, and the horrific consequences of our national obsession with working ourselves to death, consequences that directly affect not only the individual, meaning you and me, but also the companies that we work for. No wonder our economy is struggling.

All in all, in what is becoming a long list of moments in the past year that have changed my life, this one may be at the top of the list.

The Prodigal Son - Now I get it!

It's amazing how opening yourself up to new people and new ideas can revolutionize your understanding of the world. See, I never quite understood the whole story of the Prodigal Son. One son takes the wealth his dad gives him and wanders off and blows it on wine, women and song, while the other son works hard, practices self-discipline and generally helps dad with anything he needs. Then, when the first son has burned through all of his cash, he comes home begging for more, and dad treats him like royalty while seeming to snub the son who stuck around and didn't give him any grief.

That doesn't seem fair, does it?

At least, that's how I always saw it. But Saturday I had a conversation with a friend that suddenly made me understand this whole parable. The key thing I learned? Timing is everything.

My friend had been given a message once upon a time, but at that point he/she was not in the frame of mind to accept or understand that message. Had the giver of that message tried to force it upon them it would have invoked the inverse response to what they desired; in other words, he/she would have gotten angry and said something 'stop telling me what to do', just as the first son in the parable would have done had dad tried to force him to tow the line. You can't make people do what you want, you can only motivate them to take action; whether they do or not is up to them.

But when they finally do decide to take action to change their life for the better, such as the first son in the parable, then you have to be ready to welcome them with open arms. No recriminations, no chastising, just joy that they have finally found what they needed. That's the lesson son #2 did not learn. He was resentful that his good behavior was not rewarded by his father, when that behavior is actually its own reward. He was living a great life and should have been thrilled by that. Instead, he was jealous of his brother.

It's amazing what talking to people can do for you, if you will only listen to what they are saying. My friend appears to have come to this same conclusion now, because now the time in their life seems to be right for them to hear it. It wasn't before, but now it is. If so, then bravo! I hope it is so, because the message has certainly made my life better.

But now that doesn't matter, because it was not only my friend who was changed, but me, too. Seeing them come around to understand what is being offered helped me come around to understand the Parable of the Prodigal Son, something I have puzzled over for decades. I have gained tremendous insight, an epiphany, if you will, so for me the discovery process continues unabated.

As many as it takes.

Kathy and my latest adventure involves a great deal of reflection and self-improvement; for your life to be the best it can be, you have to be the best 'you' that you can be. Generally speaking this means dwelling on how to succeed, the way to train your brain to see everything in a new and positive light, and other ideas of that general nature. But you also have to deal with the other aspects of your personality, the negative aspects that might be holding you back.

And so I've been thinking lately about how I deal with failure, which inevitably lead me to ask myself exactly what failure is and how I decide when I have failed and when I have succeeded. And, if I have failed, what do I do then? Because, let's face it, everybody is going to fail, and for many of us we are going to fail more than we are going to succeed. Is that discouraging?

Well, no. Or I should say, not now it's not discouraging, although it used to be. What I have discovered is that I used to measure success by short-term goals, did I accomplish this or that today, or this week? If I did not achieve those short-term goals then I labeled the effort a failure, because I have been trained to think in terms of the same instant gratification society as everybody else. I want it now, I want to achieve it now, and if I don't then I must be a failure. And since most of the time I fail, what's the point? Right? Isn't that how a lot of us think? Why bother doing something that probably isn't going to work anyway?

What I finally realized is that I have short-term thinking but a long-term life. What if I had discovered this when I was 25, what would my life look like now? Much different. But I didn't discover it at 25, I discovered it 30 years later. So what? I will judge my latest venture in 2 years, no less, because if I work hard for 2 years and that leads me to a lifestyle that gives me more fun, freedom and fulfillment, is that worth it?

Heck yeah.

The decisions I made three years ago determine the life I am living today, so if I want to change my life three years from now I have to make changes today. How many times am I willing to fail until I succeed?

As many as it takes.

I don't get it

It must just be me. Every Monday I wake up excited for a new week, and every Monday I read how many people dread going to work. I love getting up on Mondays. Is that because I don't have a 'job?' It must be.

I earn money, and I want to earn a lot more money. But I don't punch a clock, and I don't want to punch a clock. I've done it before, of course; I didn't always feel this way. I didn't learn how not to punch in for work until I was in my 30s, so it's not like I'm some genius or anything. I just didn't know there was another way.

I had been sold the 40/40/40 plan. Go to school (and run up huge student debt), graduate and get a job (that wouldn't come close to paying off the debt it cost to qualify for that job), work 40+ hours a week for 40 years and then retire on 40% of what you couldn't live on before you retired. Sound familiar?

I will say that early on I learned that I preferred to be paid for my results (by working on commission) rather than for my time, so I did learn that much before my 30s. But I wish I knew then what I know now; I would have been an unemployed millionaire long ago.

The best part about waiting, however, is that now the learning curve for starting a new project has shrunk to almost nil; success is pretty much pre-packaged, like cake mix in a box. Follow the recipe and you will succeed, change the recipe and you will probably fail. As simple as that. I never would have believed it, but thank God I'm not stupid enough to overlook it.

And so that's why, when Mondays roll around, I'm pumped up to see what the week will bring. I have successfully re-wired that part of my brain. I am one lucky guy.

Smiling through the racket

Each day brings challenges. I woke up to a jackhammer chewing through my neighbor's driveway and the dogs thinking it's a pentameter they should bark to in time. How long does it take to get through one square foot of concrete, anyway? Apparently quite a while. Such an unexpected disturbance six months ago would have determined my mood for the day, but now I try to turn it around and consider how it might offer opportunities for seeing life differently. I had lots to do today. Unlike a snooze alarm you can't really tune out a jackhammer or turn it off, so I'm up and ready for the day!

Then, a book sent to Spain two months ago reportedly hasn't shown up, and the person wants their money back. I saw this one coming. I sent the book against my better judgment, because if there are two places in Europe that you do not want to send items through the mail, it's Spain and Italy. Does this surprise anyone? If so, it shouldn't. Their post offices are so ramshackle I doubt half the items sent there will ever make it, or, at least, your customers will claim they did not make it and ask for their money back. Many are well aware how bad their post offices are, and the refund policies of international payment agencies like Paypal. As it turns out, though, it's no big deal. I thought it was an expensive book but when I looked it up, not so much. Therefore, lesson learned, I got off light and next time will simply refuse to ship the book. A cheap price to confirm a business policy.

Meanwhile, although still tired from a long day on Thursday, I came away with a new outlook on having friends, on getting back to the gym and working out, and generally on pushing through fatigue to accomplish things that last year at this time I would have simply let slide. Like so many others I had been programmed into a sedentary lifestyle that was impossible to see when living through it, and hard to understand looking back on it. So glad that's over!

And the last little nugget of a reason to smile today? It's less than a month until Spring!

Now I know why

Have you ever thought about why you do what you do to make money? I get the whole 'I really like to eat on a regular basis', and 'I prefer for rain to fall outside instead of on my head' thing; we all have to try and survive. But a few months ago I realized that's all I was doing, surviving. I had a vague idea of what I would do if I had a choice, I would write books, travel the world to research those books, take my grandkids places and pass on what I have learned, and spend winters in a warm environment, either by taking multiple vacations or by having a winter home. However, that's all my dreams were, vague outlines in the fog of my mind.

Of course, this was more fantasy than dream...how would you even go about doing such a thing? Sure, I ran my own used and rare book business, and while there are external pressures that make it harder to turn a profit these days, I was still doing okay. But 'okay' doesn't buy your dreams; if you're lucky it buys you supper and a roof over your head. Maybe you can occasionally afford a treat or a luxury, such as movie night or a weekend in Nashville, or if you spend carefully and save up, a week in Destin. But beyond that, 'okay' is not going to cut it, it is not the vehicle for dream fulfillment.

So that's why I was doing what I did, and that's all I thought I could ever do. I had heard my whole life that I needed to be 'realistic', that you have to be careful in life and not overreach yourself, or you risked crashing in financial flames. How many times did I hear from well-meaning DreamStealers, "I just don't want to see you get hurt?" I spent my whole life taking financial advice from broke people. And so, I aimed low.

Not anymore. I finally discovered what wealthy people have always known: being 'realistic' means never achieving my dreams. I thought that was wrong, that being 'realistic' was the right choice, that wealthy people somehow won life's lottery or were just lucky to get where they are. Boy, was I wrong! Wealthy people got there because they refused to be realistic. And while I wish I had discovered this twenty years ago, I'm just glad I figured it out now, while I still have time to live my dreams.

Every single day I hear people throw out excuses why they cannot live their dreams. Every...single...day. What makes me sad is that there are always the same three or four excuses I used to give to similar questions: "I don't have the time", "I'm not good at that", "that will never work", "I don't have the money"...I can still hear myself saying it. Excuses, excuses.

Are there risks to not being 'realistic'? Sure there are. But so what? No guts, no glory, right? That's what champions say, that's what I used to say all the time, except I didn't really mean it.

So when you read or hear me say "I'm a lucky guy", it's because I have finally discovered how not to make excuses anymore. I have finally found out how to make my dreams become a reality, and that the vehicle for doing that is me. Nothing else, just me. The new venture Kathy and I embarked on has taught me far more about myself than it has about business, because that's what I most needed to learn to be a success.

My dreams are going to come true. I have a two-year time frame, that's when I will be able to devote myself to my dream. Two years of working hard is nothing, I've spent forty-five years doing that already. But finally I see my way out, finally I have found the road to fulfilling my dreams. I wish everyone could learn what I have learned, could feel the exhilaration I now feel, but I can't want success more for them than they want for themselves, I can only concentrate on me.

So if you see me wearing my trademark Guy Harvey shirt with sharks or tuna swimming on the back, you'll know why I wear them: those are my 'why'. I'm a very lucky guy.

Generational wealth

I long ago learned just how much I don't know, so let's file this one in the category of 'stuff other people have probably known for years, but is new to me'. That's one of the best benefits I have received in the last few months, being exposed to new ideas and new people containing a wealth of valuable information that is all new to me. This particular learning moment was inspired by Robb.

The Bible says that while we should not be materialistic for its own sake, we should protect the riches and blessings we are given to pass on to our descendants as generational wealth. The exact wording will vary slightly depending on which translation your prefer, but they are all essentially identical in their message, as Proverbs 13:22 commands us that, "A good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children, but a sinner's wealth is stored up for the righteous." (New International Version, 1984)

I view this to mean that as we create wealth, we should protect it as the inheritance due our children and grand-children, as well as to help those less fortunate in the here and now. In this I have not been as successful to date as I would like. But at some level I recognized this; maybe that's why I was so receptive to a business concept that was so revolutionary to me at the time, I don't know. All I know is that I wanted to be more financially successful so that I could take care of my family, leave a rich legacy for my heirs, and be able to help others in a meaningful way in the meantime.

And so, while I am thrilled with our success in this new concept to date, I am also delighted by the revelations that are brought forth from shadow by my internalizing the teachings of an idea that cares as much about the inner person as it does the outer one. People are saying all the time that businesses need to have a more human side to them, that they need to care about more than just profits. Well, mine does. But then, I'm a lucky guy.

Just one season

That's what we are taking, one season, to change our lives. That's the commitment. Concentrate, put off amusements, pay attention and kick it for one season, so we can play the rest of our lives. What amazes me us is not how few people have chosen to do the same thing, but how many. If you knew that if you spent one year working hard you could have a six figure income forever, would you do it? So far, the answer from many folks is a resounding 'yes.'

What if it took two years? Or even three? Would you work very hard for three years to make a six figure income forever?

We would, and we are; we don't mind sacrifice in the short run for wild success in the long. But maybe that's just us. See, we want to wake up one day and realize that we don't have to get up, that we can drive to the beach or take a flight to Europe, go for a jog or take up painting, ride a horse or go to a basketball game. Whatever we want. And that includes doing what we are doing now; Kathy loves being an attorney, so she may simply keep doing what she loves. But it will be because she loves it, not because she has to.

We never before believed such a thing was possible; really, it sounds too good to be true, doesn't it? But now we see it happening to other people right before our eyes. There is simply no denying what we have witnessed and know to be true, and we are so blessed to be a part of the whole thing. Success leaves clues and we are collecting them.

So, one day a couple of years from now we'll be lounging on a warm beach when it's a snowy January day in Memphis, and we will have to determine whether it was all worth it. Yeah, sure we will, right?

If you're skeptical, that's okay; you're right to doubt that statement just a little bit...see, we'll be on the beach alright, but we won't really have to think at all whether it was worth it or not. That's a no-brainer.

I have never seen this before, so how best to use my time and the time of my partners?

I have to admit that I have never seen explosive growth up close and personal before, growth on a scale and percentage that defies what passes for business logic these days. It's amazing to behold, and one heck of a lot of fun. For me, the best part is the learning process that we are going through, discovering how to use old talents and skills in new and better ways. See, at my age (over 35, let's leave it at that), you don't really expect revolutionary personal growth. You think those days are long since past, but that is really a choice you make. You can remain stagnant, or you can grow. Growing is a lot more fun.

However, when you are engaged in a cooperative effort, there are going to be times when you think time is best spent doing one thing, but others think the group should do something else. If there is time to do both, well, that's not such a big deal. But if the people involved are busy, and you are asking them to give up free time to join in the effort, then the effort must repay their expenditure of time. And there's the rub, isn't it? What is the best use of time? Genuine and honest disagreements over such an issue could lead to problems, but that is absolutely no solution whatsoever; the good of the group comes first.

Every group must have a leader to be effective, and you should never disagree with the leader because that hurts the entire group, especially if ego is involved, you are disagreeing because you want to be leader. (And, personally, that's not my cup of tea. An assistant or helper to the leader? Sure, you bet. But the top dog? Not unless I have earned it through my own efforts. Never, ever through other means.)

However, what you can do is provide alternative uses of time, offer something different for those who believe that best suits their needs. This diversification of subject material helps everyone, especially for those who wish to go back and forth between the topics and meetings. Additionally, whatever the topics are for your meetings should be duplicatable; that is, those who come later should be able to easily take your materials and use them for their own needs, perhaps with minor changes to suit the changing marketplace or differing personalities.

Doesn't that all sound every exciting? Almost as scintillating as reading the newest Michael Connelly novel.

Well, okay, maybe not so exciting, but I have to admit that I get excited about using time as efficiently as possible. I am NOT a workaholic, so when I do work I want it to count, I want to be as effective as possible. So from now on, I am going to offer the fruits of my labors and whatever talents I have to provide something a little different, a different perspective on familiar material, for anyone who might be interested.

After all, for five years I did this for a living and I won a national award from a major corporation for this very thing. That's not to brag, I was surprised by the award and frankly wasn't sure that I deserved it; I had some very talented colleagues who were just as deserving. However, it does indicate some level of competency in compiling and presenting material in an entertaining and efficient manner, and I actually enjoyed doing it, so what the heck, let's do it some more!

And so this, too, is part of your growth, this decision making process of how you should or should not spend your time. As for me, I'm going to make mistakes so I will also have to remember how to learn from them so they won't be repeated. But dang, all this learning makes me feel like I'm back in school again. And now that I think about it, I guess that I am: the school of life.

Some people love Fridays, I love every day

So there was this person who loved Fridays, because that meant the weekend had arrived and they would have two days off from work to decompress and let their mind regenerate before having to start all over again on Monday. See, they hated their job. Sometimes on Sundays they would cry because they had to go to work the next day, work they hated, but which they had to do to pay the bills. Each day was drudgery and misery.

Am I talking about you?

I don't know, am I?

And, if I am, are you so miserable that you want to do something about it? Matt Morris tells the story of an old man sitting on a bench with a dog sitting beside him. The dog was howling in obvious pain, and a passerby asked what was the matter.

"The dog is sitting on a nail," the man said.

Confused, the passerby asked, "then why doesn't have get up and move?"

The old man thought for a minute, and said: "I guess it doesn't hurt bad enough yet."

So I guess for those folks who hate their jobs, but pooh-pooh the idea of actually doing something different, the pain just isn't great enough yet. Sure, the economy isn't the best, and we all may have to work at something we don't like for a while. But your situation today is because of the decisions you made three years ago; if you change nothing, nothing will change. You can either keep sitting on the nail and howling, in which case most people are going to get sick of hearing it, or you can get up and move and start to improve your life.

The choice is yours.

Really? Me?

Yesterday, a wonderful person said that I was one of the most positive people she had ever met. Naturally, I looked around to see to whom she referred, because I certainly didn't think it was me. But, lo and behold, it was.

Wow!

See, that's not who everybody else knows me as being. A year ago I was probably the most negative person in the city of Memphis. I didn't want to be, that's not my personality, but over the years I think we all get beat down by life and the bad stuff just sort of seeps in, like minerals seeping into bones until finally they become fossils. Until Kathy and I started this new adventure, I honestly did not know how to crawl out of the vortex of negativity that was sucking me down like a giant whirlpool.

But not anymore. That's not to say I don't still have those moments of snarkiness and downright pettiness, I do, but now I catch myself and try to correct the behavior, now I'm aware. And, frankly, now I'm happy.

So, to that wonderful lady who said this to me yesterday, bless you. We aren't always aware of how we come across to others, so to know that I now am a vessel for positivity is truly motivating for me. Everything the company promised they have delivered, and more. Thank God my wife said 'yes' to all of this.

Refuse to accept anything less than the best you deserve

Every day I meet people who are dissatisfied with some aspect of their life, usually financial, sometimes emotional or spiritual. I like this, because it means they are not willing to simply roll over and take whatever ill fortune comes their way, they want to fight back and make their life better. My frustration stems from how few of them actually follow through on their plans.

In the past six months Kathy and I have changed our lives completely. Yes, it has taken a lot of effort, most of which was personal. See, we had to change ourselves before we could do anything else, and while that process is ongoing and never-ending, just undertaking to improve yourself creates its own energy. An inertia builds up in your life for the positive that allows you to do more than you ever thought possible.

We have discovered this, but unfortunately, so many others will not even undertake the journey of discovery. All we can do is concentrate on those who will, and hope the others will join us. Yes, we have discovered something that works for us, something that has revolutionized our lives, but whether others join us or find their own path, we both just wish more people would try to be happy. We are no different than anyone else, we are constantly battling the fear of failure that accompanies any new endeavor, but it is far better to try and to fail than to never try at all.

No kidding

A blog post two days in a row. I know you're shocked. But it's Monday, after the storms last night the sun is shining brightly, it's very warm for January and life is just too good to miss the chance for a quick pick-me-up comment. I have really grown to love Mondays, which signal a fresh week waiting to be lived better than the one before.

Numerous folks have commented that my attitude has changed drastically in the past three months, and they are right, it has. I invite everyone to come along, and I hope that you take up my invitation. If you are not satisfied with your life right now, then make it better; you are the only one who can.

But experience already shows that a lot of folks don't really want to change, or to improve their outlook or situation. I'm still wondering why this is so, I have several answers but they all seem so...well, so silly. Or sad, I'm not sure which. But whatever the case, if you are not happy with where your life is now, do something different! Don't wait, the decisions you make today will determine your life a year from now. Change your life and be happy!

Please.

Commentary on THE WEALTH FILES Part Three

Someone asked me if I wasn't being presumptuous commenting on The Wealth Files, but that's not the point here; I'm sure more capable people than me have written more insightful comments on this topic. No, I'm not trying to set myself up as a financial guru; that's not the point of this blog at all. This is about Kathy and my journey through uncharted territory, including the trials, tribulations, lessons learned and overall experiences gleaned from the effort.

So my commentaries are my thoughts about what I am reading, and the lessons that I am taking from the experience. I share them so that others might think about the same lessons and discover their own truths. Because whenever we try to internalize a lesson in whatever it is that we are learning, we each think the matter through in our own way.

Today's quote from T. Harv Eker's The Wealth Files is this one:

"Rich people admire other rich and successful people,
Poor people resent rich and successful people."

There is an obvious connection happening today in our society, but I will not choose that example. Instead I will try to think about it in a different way.

If I could change one thing about this it would be to qualify 'rich and successful people' as those who have achieved this through their own efforts, or have taken an inheritance and turned it into something greater than they received. But if you consider the quote, you realize just how true it is. How many times have you, or I, seen a rich or successful person and thought 'man, how lucky can you get?' I know I've been guilty of that in the past, but if that person built their own wealth, took risks, failed, perhaps failed often and miserably, but kept going until they ultimately succeeded, then who am I to be jealous of them? They worked for what they have, and they have earned the right to enjoy the fruits of their labors.

How many people do we see just sitting around doing little to improve their own lot in life, but complaining about how much others have? We see it all around us, I run into it every single day. People are given opportunities but they fail to take them for a variety of reasons: fear of failure, laziness, circumstances in life that have left them depressed or broken...there are as many reasons for failures to act as there are people. I've heard every excuse in the book a hundred times, including 'the dog ate my Daytimer.' And to be honest, I have also made just about every excuse in the book; I speak about excuses from personal experience.

The bottom line, to me, is pretty simple: if your circumstances are not what you would like them to be, then do something about it. If you just complain and pout, if you do the same thing you have always done but expect a different result, then you will forever be one of the poor people who are resentful of success. There are no good reasons for failures to act, only poor excuses.

But remember, I'm talking to myself here. This is a very personal journey that just happens to be public. If you see yourself in any of these blogs, then I hope they are of value. If they are, please subscribe; like anybody else, I could use some positive feedback too.

Like a tidal wave

The positive momentum surrounding my family and I is palpable, you can feel it building and moving forward like an inexorable tide. This is because we started working toward our goals for 2012 and have kept at it, knowing that even if results do not come right away, you cannot quit. Perseverance is the single biggest key to success. Granted, we had to reboot our efforts due to unforeseen circumstances, but viewed another way, it was a test from God to see if we had learned our lessons.

Monday is going to be huge; we cannot wait. How often do you get to hear a certified business mogul who charges big money for his seminars give a talk for free? Not very often. If we have learned nothing else lately, it is to find successful people and take whatever advice they give. Too many times in the past we have listened to well-meaning friends and relatives who told us not to do something, or that something would not work...broke friends and relatives, not rich ones.

No more. Now we have found our mentor, a self-made man who is sharing his road to success with us, and this time we are following the road less traveled. Whatever else it may turn out to be, it's going to be new and fun!

Attitude is a choice

Wow, did anybody get the number of the bus that ran over me? Feeling pretty tired today after a long weekend doing something I would have preferred to put off indefinitely. Kathy and I were both up late attending to work that had gone undone while we were busy elsewhere, and it would be very easy to say that we deserved a day off today, to just kick back and relax. It's probably even a good idea.

But that's not how we roll. She is off doing her thing and I'm plunging right back into the work that I love. So what if I'm tired, the day is dreary and the weekend was potentially depressing, attitude is a choice and I choose to be excited. I speak to people all the time who are so scared of doing anything new that they are paralyzed...it happened just yesterday. Someone is given an opportunity but don't even show up for an appointment because they are so scared of...of what, exactly? Beats me. Last week I invited someone to meet me for lunch, but all of a sudden there were pre-conditions on our meeting, 'I'll come if this' or 'I won't come if that'. If somebody invited me to have a cup of coffee, I would never say 'fine, as long as...' I would either say 'yes' or 'no', depending on if I wanted to have a cup of coffee with them.

However, I now understand the 17 Rules of Wealth much, much better than I did before launching this newest venture. Wealthy people hear of an opportunity and pursue it, poor people hear of an opportunity and run the other way. I'm not sure why yet, but I know it happens. I see it everyday. As Napoleon Hill wrote, and I blogged about recently, poor people want to be paid for their time, rich people want to be paid for their results.

Yep. It's true. I don't yet know WHY it's true, but it is. Just like how you view opportunity is your choice, so is attitude. I could be very down today, but I choose the opposite. I choose to be fired up and ready to go. Rock and roll!

Happily swamped

When I hear people say that they can't find a job, or they don't have anything to do, I confess that I just don't get it. It's probably my fault, not theirs, but these days I am absolutely swamped. There literally are not enough hours in the day to do everything I need/want to do, the money-making ideas come thick and fast, I barely have time to make a quick list of tasks and, on top of everything else, I own one of the absolute coolest things in the world that I need to find time to use!

But this morning it dawned on me that all of my life I have been happiest when I was being paid for my results, not my time. That's probably why I was Salesman of the Year three times with two different companies (commission sales, being paid for what I did, not how long I spent doing it), and National Employee of the Year (for my job description) one year (they gave me a cruise for that). Even though I was being paid a salary on that last one, I still wanted to be paid for results above and beyond my job description, and I achieved that.

When was I most miserable? When being paid for my time, X numbers of dollars for Y amount of time. I had not actually realized all of this until now, but it explains why I am so thrilled about the direction of my life now. I simply can't wait for what happens next, or the achievements yet to come.

Let's get this party started!

Sorry about the long delay in blog entries, but somehow the holidays just take over and squeeze out of all your time. Now they are done, the sun is shining, it is seasonally warm in Memphis and 2012 is shaping up to be the best year ever!

When people ask me how the new business is going, the only truthful answer I can give them is that "it's life-changing." See, it really IS life-changing. I know that sounds pat, maybe even trite, but it's true. Kathy and my outlook is radically different than a year ago, we are completely convinced that the future is bright, and really the only thing we want to do now is help others who see our vision of hope.

This is hard to understand, I know, and sounds utopian (but definitely NOT dystopian), but it's entirely true. We could not be happier at what we have chosen to pursue. And this is a strange thing, because when you have reached your mid-50's, it's hard, very hard, to change the path you are on. Or even to walk a second path simultaneously, which is what we are doing.

I mean, think about it...if you are past 40, and you have training or a career that are not the most in-demand skill sets at the moment, how do you go about changing your circumstances? Look for a new job? Okay, but doing what? In most circumstances you will wind up doing something that has a low entry-threshold but also requires immense effort for success. That is, the company that hires you because it does not cost them much to do so, but they also do not have to put many resources into your success or failure because they don't really care which happens, they are looking at the numbers. Hire a lot, lose a lot, pan for the gold and keep that while discarding the rest. When someone succeeds, THEN they put resources into them. Until then, you're on your own. Your only other real choice is to trade your time for money, and while we all have to do that sometimes, as Napoleon Hill discovered only poor people want to be paid for their time, rich people want to be paid for their results.

Thank God we have found something where it's all-for-one and one-for-all, where everybody helps everybody else. What are the odds that at our age such a golden opportunity would have come our way? Low. So don't think for one second that we don't know how blessed we are. We do know it, and that's why we're convinced 2012 is going to be spectacular, and the heck with the Mayans!