Notes from an inspirational weekend - Part Two

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Okay, back to thinking about what we learned in Tupelo on November 12th, digesting some truly inspirational material to brighten what appears to be a cold, gray day; in reality, there is plenty of sunshine outside, you just can't see it because of the clouds.

"Most jobs are designed to buy you at wholesale and to sell you at retail....you should use your job to finance your dream."

Think about that for a minute. If you could have an hour of your life back to do with as you pleased, how much would you pay for that? Would you spend $50 if you could have one more hour at age 18? Or 29? Or 39? Would it be worth $100, or $200? How much is your time worth? If you would buy back an hour of your life for, say, $100, then how much did you sell if for in the first place?

The only real answer, of course, is that time is priceless, yet most people are willing to sell their time, and thus their life, quite cheaply. They accept a given wage from their employer, who then turns around and uses their time to make money selling their services to a client. That's how this works, the employer takes the risk of paying someone to do a job while betting they can then sell that person's efforts to someone else for a profit. There's nothing wrong with this arrangement, per se.

But what if you want more than that? What if you want to be able to make more money than the employer is willing to pay, to make your own schedule, to work when you want to work, not when someone else says that you have to work? Assuming you haven't won the lottery, then is only one legal way to do that: open your own business. A lot of people have the desire to do this, but they are scared of the risk, even if the risk is small. Usually the fear kicks in when they realize they will have to use their own money to get their business started, they have to use their job to finance their dream, but it's not risking the money that scares them: heck, our business was started for virtually no money whatsoever, and the ongoing costs are almost nil. No, what scares them is that they will have to do something new, something they aren't used to doing, they will have to change, and despite all the platitudes and encouraging slogans they may pretend to like, the fact is that most people are afraid of change. Why?

The best answer I have read is that people are really scared of depending on themselves. Instead of wanting to make their own way, to craft their own result, they prefer the (often false) security of selling them time wholesale. That is their Plan A, and if they accept the need for a Plan B, then they are admitting that Plan A might not always work, that they may one day have to fend for themselves. In other words, while everybody needs a Plan B, the very idea that it might be necessary is too fearful to contemplate.

Notes from an inspirational weekend - Part One

Going over some notes from our sojourn to Tupelo and a lot of this is too good not to share. Tupelo was billed as a training event, and it was, but like everything else with this project it is half self-improvement. I have never met a group of people more dedicated to helping the individual find their passion in life and pursue it, while learning to help others. Sometimes, I feel like a missionary.

Anyway, let's start with this one: "Life is short and you can never get your time back, so why settle for doing something that is not your passion?" We all have to make a living, but is earning that paycheck keeping you from pursuing your true passion in life? If it is, what are you doing to change your circumstances? My passion in life is to travel the world, visit historical sites, research and write books, then rest up by laying on the beach for weeks at a time. I don't think Kathy would mind tagging along for the ride, as long as there were equestrian shops along the way like the one we found in Salzburg, and we can proudly say that we have taken the first step to make this a reality. Can you say the same thing? If 'yes', then well done and have at it! If 'no', well, what's holding you back?

For most of us, other people control most of our life. You might not like to admit it, but it's true. How do you feel about that? If you're okay with it, and frankly I think most people are, then you're probably shaking your head while reading this blog, wondering what the heck I'm talking about. But if you're not okay with it, we go back to the same question I just asked: what are you doing about it? What is your plan to change your life a year from now?

If you have a dream and you are not actively fighting to make it a reality, then it is and will remain nothing more than a dream. If you want your dream to become reality, then you're going to have to fight for it, because I can assure you that nobody else will. But if you want help in finding Plan B, let me know, maybe I can help. Didn't I tell you that I felt like a missionary?

Help me out here, folks

I'm still trying to understand why so many people, me included, become paralyzed with fear over doing something new. "I'm too busy", "I don't have any money", "I have to research it first"-blah, blah, blah. Excuses, excuses. I know, because I had all of these and a lot more besides when we first got started. Let me be clear about that: I'm talking about me, not you. I hear this a lot from other people, yes, but I recognize these excuses because they are all the ones that I made.

The worst one I had was the "I have to do my research." Oh, really, Bill? You're such an accredited researcher that you can dig up stuff that a company paid millions of dollars to do research for their clients could not? And let's be clear here: I'm a good researcher. I'm a lot better than most, in fact, because as a historian I've done a lot of that. But still, when a company with a worldwide reputation audits another company, what made me think I could dig up something they couldn't? Nothing. I knew I couldn't. It was just an excuse to keep sitting on my duff.

"I have to do my research". Pffftt. When most people say this, they mean they are going to Google whatever it is they are researching. What they don't know is that you can Google anything, anything, and you will find something bad about it. Think I'm kidding? Google 'Wal-Mart sucks'. Or 'we hate puppies.' Or 'Christmas is a scam.' Or almost anything else you can think of. You will find people out their writing bad stuff about everything. So, how do you decide what to believe and what not to believe? You don't, because you don't have the resources to judge that. And if you allow yourself to be influenced by those people writing bad stuff about almost everything, then you have just given away all of your power over your life to some anonymous Dreamstealer who would be thrilled that they made your life worse.

Want to do your research? Research the companies you can depend on to audit other companies, and believe them. That's research that makes sense. As I finally realized.

When I was too busy to try something new, what I did not stop to think about was why I was too busy, and what I intended to do to change that. See, if your life is too busy to enjoy, or you don't have enough money, you should not be ignoring new possibilities, you should be seeking them out. This is something else that I did not understand. If you do nothing to change your circumstances, then how do you expect them to be any different a year from now, two years from now, or three?

We are working hard to change our life from one of work and more work, to one of work and play. It may take a while, winning the lottery not withstanding, but that's the plan. And you know something? While achieving our goal will be delicious, the most valuable thing we have gained is the change in attitude that comes with being pro-active. You are out there fighting the good fight, working for you and not for your employer, trying to carve out your niche in the world...even when success comes that's not your biggest reward. Changing yourself for the better is the reward that comes without you even knowing it.

If you don't believe in yourself, why should anybody else?

Since I have run my own business since 1998, I know what it's like not to have to take whatever employers feel is fair in the way of compensation, not to have to dance the corporate dance to make sure your job is secure or that you get a raise. There's nothing inherently wrong with doing this, I've had to do it in the past, many times; we all do what we must to survive.

But there's something in all of this that I do not understand. You see a lot of inspirational quotes encouraging people to believe in themselves, quotes like "take the bull by the horns', 'if you need a helping hand look to the end of your arm' and 'don't be afraid of change'. Now, don't get me wrong here, I love such quotes, I think they often nail an inherent truth about life, and I love reading them. They never fail to inspire me, even if only for a moment.

But what confuses me is that very, very few people actually take this advice, and it's a shame, because so many people who could carve out a successful niche for themselves simply cannot bring themselves to bet on the one person they should bet on: them. Here's the question that most people are, I think, afraid to even contemplate, much less try to answer: if there is something about your life that you do not like, what are you doing to change it? I know a lady who is barely scraping by trying to make ends meet, it's not a good situation. And yet she will not do anything to try and improve her lot, she simply keeps plowing ahead and hoping something good will happen. I hope it does, for her sake. Indeed, I pray that it does. But isn't a favorite inspirational quote "God helps those who help themselves?"

Whatever choice you make today will determine the conditions of your life a year from now. If you are happy and content and financially secure, then by all means, change nothing! I hope to join you there someday. But if you aren't, then what is your escape plan, what are you doing to make things better?

For a long time, that was me. I did nothing and expected improvement in my life, which is a close cousin to the definition of insanity. I kept expecting some windfall from God, maybe winning the lottery or something. Finally, though, some piece of advice sank in and I got off my duff and started taking back my life. I'm happier than I have been in years.

Now, it's your turn.

Is it you?

I do not believe in horoscopes: let's make that clear on the front end. But that does not mean they have no value. Sometimes the message is right on point, even if it's not determined by positioning of the celestial bodies. In that spirit, today's 'scope says: "Share some of your good energy with colleagues or friends- they can use some! At least one is consumed with worry or fear, and you can show them there is in fact a bright side."

My energy is going to be good, then, but maybe tinged with a little kick-in-the-buttness. If that's you, if you are eaten up with worry about something, let me tell you that there is a way out. I may not know what that is, but I know there is a way. There is always a way. But as long as you are terrified, you will never find it, even if someone shows it to you.

Honestly, I see this every day. A great many people no longer trust themselves, and that's a shame. See, if you are rely on others for your self-esteem, or your livelihood, then you will always be at their mercy as to whether or not your life is going to go well. The one person in the world you should always be able to count on is yourself, but, sadly, too few people trust themselves any more. And too many make a decision to follow their dream, only to allow others to snatch it away from them, to talk them out of it. I saw this happen just yesterday, and it's not the first time.

So that's my advice: believe in yourself. Find your dream and fight for it, because nobody else is going to. I have found mine and just try to steal it from me! We all fight for something every day, be it a paycheck, our kids, our way of life, whatever, we all get up every day and go scramble to make something happen. But it's a lot more fun when what you are fighting for is something you want to create for yourself.

What a weekend!

On Saturday we drove to Tupelo for our first regional event, and let me tell you, if we weren't wowed before we sure as heck are now! Literally dozens of people from all over small-town West Tennessee and Mississippi sharing experiences and stories about those they have helped along the way to getting their various businesses off the ground, sharing expertise and talking shop, an incredibly inspirational experience. Being around others who share your goals is always a great experience, but Saturday was a life-changing event. Wow!

On Sunday, I was home most of the day and ran out to run a few errands, maybe an hour or so. Four or five times I ran into people who were miserable at their jobs and were not afraid to say so. I could only shake my head and sympathize. It's tough working at something that is not your passion, for someone who does not respect your work, and for minimal wages. But I did meet one fine lady handing out coffee samples who worked for an independent coffee company, strictly a word of mouth growth campaign, and she seemed to be having fun. Good for her! Working for yourself is hard, but working for others can be harder. And as she said, when someone pays you a wage, they sometimes think that they own you.

There is one lady in particular who I find inspiration from. She is working two jobs, somewhere around 60 hours a week or more, single, with children, and yet keeps chugging away, doing her best. I have not given up on us being able to help her, and I hope it works out that we can. This is about a lot more than having a great time and making money; helping others is equally important.

Everything is fun again

It's strange, a few months ago the last thing I wanted to do once the sun set was go anywhere. Dinner, a comfy chair and TV was a good night. But now? Now I look forward to meetings and don't want them to end. Like I said, strange.

I came away from Tuesday night's get together fired up and excited, and that's just a great way to live, isn't it? I came away positive and looking forward to the next day, and I can't remember the last time that happened, if ever. Moreover, I'm getting to do what I love most again, which is to coach. Not sports, but coaching all the same. What a blast!

And the luncheon tomorrow? Man, I can't wait. The reinforcement of positive ideas and thinking, and the promise of learning something new and planning for the future, are making life so much more fun than it used to be. Finding new information and fitting it into my growing knowledge base, then deciding how to relay that to others, is just about the most fun I can think of. Short of a long nap on a warm, sandy beach, that is. And, of course, that's the whole point.

I've said it before but I'll say it again: Kathy and I were just plain lucky.

Fighting off the tsunami

Everywhere you turn, it seems people are negative about something these days. I can barely go to a message board or read a story without someone picking a fight with someone else. If you think about what they are saying, or if you allow yourself to dwell in the swamp of badness with them, you'll drown in the same tsunami of negativity that is swallowing them.

Well, I am consciously fighting that back. It's hard, I must admit, to filter out all of the rubbish that's out there. But if I have learned nothing in the 6 weeks or so since my life took a sudden and dramatic turn for the better, it is that you have to find a way to do positive things, to occupy yourself helping others or accomplishing a goal, and you have to be willing to let the negative people fall by the wayside. And that is the hardest part.

See, they could be relatives, friends, co-workers, and you want so much to help them improve their lot in life, to see the sunshine and be glad for it, rather than dwell in the gloom. And you should try to help them, we all should. But at the end of the day you cannot make someone be happy, you cannot force prosperity on them, you have to be willing to ignore the negative influences, whoever they might be. Because achieving your dream is hard enough in life, without trying to do it while someone has you by the ankles and is trying to tackle you.

Eventually, if you achieve your goals, they may want to know how you did it, and that could be the opening you need to help them, too. So, go be positive, be successful, and be the example for others.

This just keeps getting better

We have never before been involved with something that not only offers more than we bargained for, but keeps adding benefits on top of benefits with no warning. We wake up every morning asking ourselves 'how did we get this lucky?' The hardest part, for us, is learning to tone down our enthusiasm so we don't overwhelm people.

Have you ever felt that way about something? You know it is the most amazing thing you have ever found, bar none, and you just want to share it with everybody, but you are so over-the-top wildly enthusiastic that people think you need professional help, and you wind up chasing off the very people you most wanted to benefit from what you had found. That's us, right now.

A price guarantee! Really? How can we do this? How can anybody do this?

So please excuse us if we're excited these days; it's hard not to be.